Yesterday was my first Mother's Day as a mother. For years I have loathed Mother's Day. It was just a day of torture for me. Just a day of constant reminders that yet again, I wasn't a mother. So this year should have been different, right?
This Mother's Day, I expected to be overjoyed but I think everyone around me was more happy for me than I was for myself. All I could think about was all of the women who continue to struggle with infertility and how painful Mother's Day continues to be for them. I almost felt guilty that I had a reason to celebrate while so many others were mourning the loss of the family they have hoped for, for so long.
I'm not sure if that feeling of guilt and sorrow will ever go away, because I know what's its like to be in the shoes of the ones who long so desperately to be a mommy.
Sorry this is a depressing post...but this was what consumed my thoughts yesterday along with the song called "Blessings" by Laura Story.
"...what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise"
Erin, I think of the same thing each Mother's Day - there are so many women who struggle because they cannot bear a child, or have lost their own precious child to death. It can really be tough - God will always use you to touch the hearts of others because of your sensitivity and kindness!
ReplyDeleteI do so enjoy keeping up with y'all on your blog and look so forward to someday meeting Jacob.
Love,
Karen (Ben's aunt)